Sound familiar?

       Your TOT crossed its heart and hoped to die if it fails to have actual third-generation mobile phone service in a little corner of Bangkok before New Year's Eve; Vichien Narkseenuan, the firm's senior executive president for vice, said he expects to sign a deal Real Soon Now with a socalled mobile virtual network operator (MVNO) that will carry the TOT service,although no names, please; Mr Vichien promised "about" 500,000 numbers would be available; real yuppiephone networks scoffed at the TOT offer to let them in on the deal, because they fear that if they rent a network now, the National Telecommunications Commission won't let them bid for a licence to run their own 3G services.
       Vichien Narkseenuan, the senior executive president of vice for your TOT ,said that the state monopoly plans to open a third-generation (3G) phone service with 100,000 numbers, and serving the entire country; TOT has no intention of building its own base stations,though, and will rent them from real phone companies; Mr Vichien forgot to mention when this nationwide 3G service might start for the lucky 100,000.
       The National Telecommunications Commission announced it will open public hearings on third generation phones next Monday; Prasert Aphipunya, secretary in charge of vice for the NTC, said you should bring along a large truck load of money if you want to start the bidding for licences, say,oh, somewhere around 10 billion-witha-"b" baht; after next weeks' hearing,there will be a notice in the Royal Gazette ,and actual bidding for four (and only four) available licences may open as early as December; rules on all of this should be up on the NTC's website by now at www.ntc.co.th.
       For the third time in a row, the strug-gling TT&T company won a multibillion-baht lawsuit against your TOT and for the third time in a row your TOT told them to pound sand; this time,an agree-upon arbitrator decided that TOT owed the up-country phone provider 2.3 billion baht in misguided revenue sharing for long distance calls;but TOT president Varut Suvakorn rejected the arbitration and told TT&T,"See ya in court, boys"; in case the Administrative Court rules against TOT yet again, Mr Varut said he was pretty sure the state firm didn't have that kind of money to pay off anyhow; TT&T explained that lawsuit number four is about to be filed.
       No 2 yuppiephone firm DTAC of Norway opened its new headquarters in new Chamchuri Square , bragging that it spent one billion baht on the 19-floor (!) digs; all 3,200 DTAC employees relocated from the Chai Building to the new location at the Sam Yan intersection,overlooking Chulalongkorn University;CEO Tore Johnsen signed a 10-year lease for the 61,160-square-metre office,which includes the firm's main call centre; Mr Johnsen said new staff will work harder to pay the extra rent money; the kicker is that DTAC is asking the following price for the Chai Building one billion baht; Mr Johnsen said that DTAC was pressing ahead aggressively on its 3G trials and so on and etc and zzzzzzz.
       Energy Minister Wannarat Channukul, apparently unaware that you can't spell "Thaksin" without "hub", said that Asean should become the energy exporting hub of the world; no, really,his reasoning is that Southeast Asia has so much food that it can make biofuels galore and sell it to the world at Arabesque profits; not only does Southeast Asia (sic) have a lot of extra food to feed the world's cars, it's, well, better "higher yields and more commercially viable for biofuel than corn and beetroot" from the US and Europe; to coin a phrase, in the klongs there are fish and in the fields there are biofuels.
       Energy Minister Wannarat Channukul called in state firms and phuyai of the private sector for a heart-to-heart joint statement that everyone would cooperate on saving energy; this year's spin is that the programme will "save"100 billion baht, and Mr Wannarat got away unchallenged with a claim that a similar project last year saved 30 billion baht; the deal is that the Federation of Thai Industries (FTI) and the Thai Chamber of Commerce (TCC) and so on - 30,000 firms altogether - will work on conservation, purchase green technology and so on, and in return they will get some tax breaks and subsidies on loans taken through the energy services company fund (Esco); the minister is looking for one billion baht to fund Esco this year.